Moments in words ;

So we bid 2010 with a good riddance handshake and march on with our brave helmet on our heads to 2011.

But while I'll like to get away from 2010 as fast as I can, there was just so so much I've learnt over the past year and things I can take away to help for the new year as well so I decided to make a little list to remind myself and you, too, if you'd like.

This is gonna get rather emotional/personal so if you're not comfortable with all that or just want to read fluffy pieces, come back tmrw and I'll blog about the new spring collections :)

2010 was a roller coaster for me. Like the biggest and wildest and the one roller coaster that makes you feel like you're gonna fall out the ride if it keeps twisting you around without stopping. Oh yeah and makes you all motion-sicknessy and puke all over? 2010 was sorta like that for me. I'm seriously not complaining but just stating a fact that it was not my best year but one thing happened- change. BIG TIME.

(Cried a lot too, sorry to make people like jyings carol andy justine go through my sobbing and incoherent speech at times)

I remember asking for change during 2009.. Haha I was saying, time for change.

I was telling God, change me!

And God answers prayers, oh yes he does.

I got change and it swept me off my feet.

Not in the romantic way but more of the abrupt let's go now! kinda thing.

I didn't what to do. I ran from commitments. I hid in my comfort zone, stayed where I knew was safe and warm. I didn't want to start all over.. I'd rather get tired with other things like my internship and all. It was kinda tough to be battling in my heart and mind. My heart was like, trust God and obey. My mind was like I'm tired, I tried, it doesn't work, I shall focus on work.

Gosh I struggled with that for what seems like the longest time.

Why go to some place I was obviously having a hard time with when I can escape from it all?

It seemed like my love pipe was blocked and I couldn't love right anymore.

So many insecurities and too much fear clogged up that pipe.

Took a while and a harsh wake-up call on changing ministries that shook me up.

Prayed about it for the longest time, talked to the right people and finally decided to face things and just go ahead and continue and not give up anymore.

So glad I stuck to the decision.

Soon after, things started getting better. It's true, what affects you spiritually is how you'll be like on the outside. I was all miserable for the first half of the year but after I had that breakthrough, I was truly free and happy and people saw the change.

I remember Mel commenting that something's changed and I looked happier and she's right, something changed and I am happier.

I also learnt about giving from the people around me who give so endlessly. They really are a huge motivation to me. I learnt so much from my parents as well. Learnt how to really talk to them and seek their advices when I'm confused, got to spend quality time with them too and really laughed with them. It's an inside joke thing that I always laugh non-stop during dinner with my family because joy can't be contained and I just burst in embarrassing bouts of laugher each time. Like for 15 mins, I'll be laughing and then okay continue with dinner. Haha. Some of you are judging me now >:

I also learnt how to be a better sis to not just my brothers but my new sisters in Christ! I learnt how to be a better friend. I discovered that one must be happy first if not being in a relationship won't change things. I discovered a lot of people getting attached and my growing worry of not being attached. Then I learnt how to calm down and wait for things in its own time according to God's plans. And remembered that God doesn't really find a partner for you. Learnt how to calm myself again by not thinking about getting married too soon. Learnt from that the guys in church are outnumbered by girls (ratio of girls to guys 2:1) from my mommy dearest who encouraged me to make the first move if I find someone I like. Learnt how to deal with thoughts like 'what if he doesnt like me' or 'what if he ignores me' and learnt how to guard my heart. (No, I did not make any first move on anyone in the end haha)

I also widened my knowledge and experience of the world and got to know a lot more things through internships and opportunities and all- thankful for every eye-opener; the good and bad.

I came in 2010 not knowing what I want..

I came out of 2010 knowing where I want to head to.

Good bye 2010, and thank you for making me stronger.