8D Myanmar 2014

Went to Myanmar earlier this year and here are some of the pictures I forgot to post.

It's a beautiful country, with the people so mild and the history so rich. 

Not a single Starbucks or MacDonalds to be seen, no H&M or Topshop to be found.

This is a land before commercialized time.. 

If you ever want to see a world before all our consumerism begins, 

this is the country to go to. 

Time is of the essence; 

before the major Corporation takes over.

Route: Yangon - Heho - Kalaw - Inle Lake - Indein - Bagan - Yangon

What's next?

Proverbs 29:18Amplified Bible (AMP)

18 Where there is no vision [no redemptive revelation of God], the people perish; but he who keeps the law [of God, which includes that of man]—blessed (happy, fortunate, and enviable) is he.

And now that question has been tugging at my heart. I know there is more but I can't seem to push past this quicksand I seem stuck in.

Praying for a fresh revelation, for a renewed vision.

Messy

Healing of the heart is a very interesting affair.

You have to muster all your courage to face it- face the scary replay of the incident from start to finish- only to realize that after you've gone through it all, it has no power against you any more.

And only then can the journey to restoration truly begin.

Bit by bit, almost as though there is a process for it all, and ultimately, the most important thing for healing to take place.. is Time.

Giving yourself time to sort the difference between your distraught emotions and your logical thoughts.

And always, you will find that the worst is over.. and maybe, just maybe, your emotions are the ones exaggerating the fear and trauma of it all.

Not to belittle the experience that you had, but to those of us who lived through it, you are stronger because of it.

I think what shook me the most was how powerless and weak I felt.

There was just so much anger that in me, and an inner vow to never let anybody get close to me to do that again. I would never let myself in that situation.. and even if it happens again, this time, I'll come out screaming and fighting as if my life depends on it.

And in a way, it does.

Because I think I'd just die if I have to go through something like that again.

Sorry if this post isn't what you expect to read from me. 

Life is messy when humans are involved.. and so I'm not ashamed of my mess any more.

It's more about how the Big guy up there takes all the mess and weaves out something exquisite along the way. 

#tb

Top and denim skort from Rackspaceproject, Boots from Jessicabuurman

If only my feet lived in South America.. then I would wear boots every day. Hurray!

Vision;

I'm in a pool of black water. I look around me and I'm surrounded by it.

Black, dirty water. Full of dead things.

The water's too cold, and I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

It's pulling me down, into the abyss of black nothings.

I struggle, and kick and push and tread to stay up but it's almost useless.

I'm growing tired and I'm freezing and I think my legs have stopped moving.

How deep will I go? 

Is there a bottom to this or will I keep sinking, sinking, sinking and fade into black.

Suddenly, a hand reaches out and with all my might, I push myself forward to grab it.

That strong hand is effortlessly pulling me out.

Up, up and up. 

And just like that, I'm out of the water.

I'm.. above.

I'm in a white space now, so white and so pure.

Standing in front of me is my rescuer.

I can't see his face, but I know who he is. 

Like a child would know their father, I know who he is. 

A gentle breeze washes over my body and blows away the remaining rancid black water off my skin.

I've never been so clean.

He sits down and I'm filled with such thanksgiving and glee that I begin to express myself in dancing and in singing. 

I twirl around him, I sing boldly.. And all that I'm focusing on is the smile on his face.

That smile..

It makes me want to keep pleasing him, to keep that beautiful smile on his face.

And so I dance on and sing on as he watches. His loving eyes never leaving me.

I'm in peace, I'm in joy, I'm liberated.

For every day

I was fortunate to see;

The painter getting up before dawn, 

dipping his huge brush into the palette of morning 

to blend out the darkness of midnight,

to paint a fresh masterpiece that day.

(pic taken in Cappadocia, dawn)

That magical moment

I like the feeling that I get, just before I get out from bed in the morning.

So I'm still semi-sleeping, and my eyes are still closed even though my brain has been switched on. 

I can see the sunlight through my closed lids.

I like the feeling that just before opening my eyes-

Anything can happen. All the possibilities of the day.

Who I'll meet, who I'll talk to, what I'll see. I can still dream..

Maybe I'll meet a special friend for lunch, maybe I'll bump into Sun & PK, maybe I'll get a call from a creative agency and be flown off to Hollywood, maybe I'll meet the guy of my dreams, maybe I'll save a life.. maybe, just maybe.

Then I open my eyes and take a deep breath and live the dream.

See, anything can happen.

You'll never know, that's the beauty of it.

Just before we open our eyes to start the day..

(Repost) Intermission: 60 mins

What i really want now,
is to have a picnic with You.

I'd wear my prettiest dress, and You just have to be there.
It'll be at a garden with lovely trees filled with shades of green, brown and yellow leaves.
Wild flowers will spring forth in abandon, dotting the ground with their little white petals.
My bare feet will crush the grass and leaves on the ground, joining in the sound of rustling leaves on the trees.
The strong old trees that shelter us, making me feel so safe.
No one will be here except for You and me, no one to interrupt. 

We can finally be alone.
Oh, to just forget the cares of the crazy world. To just spend time with You without being distracted.

I would bring some food, though I know You can bring the best food or make anything I feel like eating.
I would bring some juice, though I know You can grow the apples and make juice in no time.
I would want to bring, but You provide. You always provide.
When will I see that all You want is for me to bring is simply myself?

We would sit together on the soft ground, on a red picnic mat and a picnic basket next to us filled to the brim with food.
We'd talk.
I ask you questions about my life and You answering me in the way that you do. They may never be the full answers I want to hear but they are the right answers I need to hear. 

Then we'll just talk. Me, about my day. Even though You already knew what happened, You still stay and hear because You know that I just need someone to pour out all my worries and troubles and happiness and emotions to. Then You will reply, sometimes with words so wise that I do not see what it means.
We'd talk, how I love talking to You, and somehow the food and my hunger will lay forgotten.
Because You are all that i need.

And when I start to get tired, we'll just lay on the grass bed. 

I'll be smiling, I'll be contented. I never want to leave You. To leave such peace, such calm. Such love.
But You say that now that I'm well-rested, I should get back on and share the joy with others. Keeping and holding it all to myself would be too selfish. Keep loving, like how I love you.

And so the intermission ends, and the audience scurries back to their seats as the light dims.
The curtains begin to open and I take a deep breath as I walk up the stage.

My life is Your song, Your masterpiece.
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ears.

safe embrace

i long to look on the face of the one that i love,
long to stay in your presence,
it's where i belong.

nothing else matters..

Turkey: Footsteps of Paul

Just some pictures that I've edited so far.. loads more to come, maybe I'll find a nice way to display them all soon. Super cold weather, hot air balloon flight, seeing the most amazing rock villages, camel with swag, and their beautiful patterns that adorn their plates. The trip was just so mindblowing to see such a self-sustaining country staying true to their culture and art.
Everywhere looked like a perfect postcard and I think if I lived in Turkey, I wouldn't need to travel anywhere else.

I will update this space again soon when I'm not so sleepy. Ciao.

That made all the difference.

[Pics taken during Autumn in England]

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim

Because it was grassy and wanted wear,

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day! 
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference. 

Robert Frost: The Road Not Taken