In the midst of all the overwhelming experiences in London & Loughborough, a tiny nagging feeling was creeping into my heart. As much as I was enjoying myself in this new environment, looking around at the people who are experts in their fields and are confident of their work gets me doubting myself again. It was the same feeling I had when I had my first day of NAFA sch started.
What am I doing in this course? I certainly don't have the technical skills the other students have. I was trained in Maya and After Effects, for goodness sake. What is InDesign & Illustrator? What font height and space? What branding and advertising?
I only know Photoshop and have my own ideas on how packaging and printing should be done because of my work experience. (which by the way, is pretty subjective. depending on your printer too. some print template may differ and so I don't know the 'standard' stuff a normal design student would know)
Of course I'm not complaining or giving myself a pity party.
I choose this course because I wanted to branch out a little more into design. To me, design is the foundation, and motion graphics and films are the way you express that design. That's why I didn't choose to enter into another animation school but rather wanted to get my basic skills in design honed even more.
And only God knows how I got in this course. Haha it is truly a miracle and I am constantly amazed. My work is just average and so to be one of the 35 students in this degree course feels pretty special.
However, being human and slightly hormonal due to that time of the month, I sometimes feel inadequate and wonder just what the heck am I doing here. There have been times when I wanted to just quit the course and go back to work because I'm more comfortable there. (Haha, can you imagine? Work is my comfort zone and school gives me the nerves)
So I youtube-ed some worship songs, flipped to the Bible and read 1 Cor 1:27.
It was such a timely reminder to my soul.
God is in charge. There is a purpose as to why I'm in this course and I believe He will supply the grace and strength and creativity needed. He chose me, the rather foolish one in the world. So that if I should boast, I will boast in Him.
So that you can see whatever achievements or ideas or work that I do, it can only be possible because God is with me. Not by my own talents or skills.. But by His calling.
Shall not think so lowly of my work and ideas anymore but be confident to present them to my new lecturers and classmates!
Sorry this post turned out so wordy. It just became a reflective journal; now that I'm free in Loughborough to sit and type my thoughts out.
I hope this has encouraged you too and as much as you think you cannot make it, just remember that God has chosen YOU out of all the other 'better' people to shine for Him.. So go ahead and let that fire burn so bright for God!
*takes a deep breath*
LEGGO!
